Some Scars to Remember Her By
by UnmovingGreatLibrary
Summary: For an amanojaku, life is short, but hatred is forever.


The sound of footsteps approaching the door woke Seija up, and she found her cheek pressed against tatami mat. At some point, she'd fallen asleep and toppled over. With her arms and legs tied behind herself, it was no wonder. After struggling briefly, she was able to get a little leverage with a knee, and pushed herself more fully onto her side to take a look around.

The room they'd stuck her in was empty, a repurposed storage room or something in the Hakurei Shrine. Judging by the light that was shining through the joints in the wall, it was daytime now. She'd been here at least ten hours or so. It was hard to tell how late in the day it was, since she'd stayed awake for half the night, shouting threats and obscenities through the walls, trying to goad her captors into getting on with whatever they had planned.

Outside, she heard murmured conversation on the other side of the door. Whoever was coming had company. Last night, it had just been the shrine maiden, the witch, and the gap youkai. Against all three at once, she hadn't stood much chance, even with the few stolen treasures she'd still managed to hang onto. It had been the youkai's idea to tie her limbs with shimenawa. It was probably meant to seal a goshintai, but it worked well enough for a youkai like herself. She could feel the spiritual barrier around it, restricting her powers as well as her physical movements.

With a click, the door slid open. The gap youkai strode into the room first. Behind her was her shikigami, that fox whose name Seija had never bothered to learn, with a shallow bowl in her hands. The gap youkai took up position by the door, and the kitsune knelt down next to Seija. Grabbing her shoulder, she started guiding her up to her knees.

"Get your hands off me," Seija snarled. She did her best to thrash against the kitsune's hands, trying to drop herself back to the floor just to spite them. As soon as she was upright, though, she noticed a third spectator, and the will to fight drained out of her.

Shinmyoumaru. It was the first time that Seija had seen her at her regular, tiny size since before their failed revolution. She was peeking around the frame of the door, and seemed to flinch guiltily when she felt Seija's eyes on her. Seija's cheeks burned angrily. Just the thought of Shinmyoumaru seeing her like this filled her with shame. So much for whatever pride she'd had left. "Why are you here?" she grumbled.

"As appealing as the idea might have sounded, we couldn't just leave you in here forever," Yukari said. Her voice was cold, but it was politic. Formal. Seija couldn't even feel a drop of hate from the youkai. It was probably why she'd come instead of the shrine maiden. She would have gotten too much satisfaction out of somebody more emotionally volatile. "Would you like a drink?"

"Go to hell."

Yukari sighed, and gestured toward Ran. The shikigami lifted the dish full of water up to Seija's lips. Seija tugged backward, doing her best to keep away from it, until finally she was bent so far that her options were letting herself fall over or accepting the offer of water. She had to admit that she was thirsty. The first mouthful that she pulled in was cool and refreshing on her parched throat. The second mouthful, she turned and spat in the kitsune's face.

"Charming," Yukari said.

Ran grimaced and wiped herself off, and Seija smirked to herself in petty satisfaction. "Why are you here?" she repeated.

"I already told you, we—"

"I didn't mean you." Seija's eyes turned toward Shinmyoumaru, who flinched back behind the cover of the door. "I'm talking to her."

Shinmyoumaru paused for a moment, holding Seija's gaze, then slowly stepped out into the open. "I-I wanted to hear what you have to say," she said softly. "For myself, I mean. I want to know why you did it."

"Mmh."

"It's a good enough place to start," Yukari said. She was standing stiffly now, with both hands resting on the handle of her folded parasol and the tip resting on the floor. "Do you understand what it was that you were doing?"

"Rrgh. Of course."

"Please explain. For the benefit of the princess."

Seija glared up at her, but Yukari stared back, unblinking. Was this their plan? Make her confess to all of her sins in front of the one ally she'd ever had?

_But she's not your ally anymore,_ she reminded herself. _She turned her back on you. Just like all the others. Who cares what she thinks?_ "I tried to destroy the barrier."

"You didn't try to destroy it, you tried to _invert_ it. Do you understand what would have happened if you'd succeeded?" Seija lowered her eyes to the floor, silent, and after some time, Yukari prompted, "Gensokyo would have been devastated. It's like turning a balloon inside-out without popping it. You can't do it." She stepped forward, closer now, and her expression grew sharper. "Were you aware of that?"

Seija kept her eyes fixated on the floor. Even now, she couldn't say if she'd actually intended to unleash a disaster or not. She'd gone in knowing that her chances of success were slim. It had taken days. Days of constant concentration and strenuous effort. As she'd exhausted the spiritual energy that sustained her as a youkai, she'd physically wasted away too, until she could count her ribs through her clothes. It had made her feel dirty, an admission that even after all of her efforts, she was still weak. But it had worked. As the shrine maiden and magician had battled her, she'd been able to feel the creeping flaw that she'd introduced into the barrier, a minor point of stress that would build until the entire thing burst.

It had all been over the incident after she'd stolen everybody's treasures, really. It hadn't lasted. It never did. The initial outrage had faded, and with it, their hate. Within days of the changes to the spell card rules, it had become a game, a competition to see who could capture Gensokyo's first outlaw in ages. She became a target, and nothing more. Most of them felt no more malice toward her than a child did when kicking a ball. She'd burnt through her stolen tools fighting them, and been left no more hated or feared than before. For an amanojaku, there was no worse fate than being _disregarded_. Trying one last grand gesture to antagonize the world had been her only option. It was the way these things went, really.

"... yeah," she finally said, after a minute had passed in silence.

Shinmyoumaru's eyes went wide, and she stepped forward, interrupting the questioning. Her voice was quavering, barely loud enough for even Seija to hear. "It could have killed people..."

"Yeah. If it had worked."

"Why would you do that?!"

"All part of the revolution."

"The revolution is over! I-it failed!" Shinmyoumaru looked down self-consciously at the spot on her obi where the Miracle Mallet would be hanging if she were large enough. "I'm not sure we ever needed it. The people at the shrine are pretty nice. Maybe we can all get along."

"Maybe _you_ can get along with them. I'm not. I won't. Not until every youkai in this place is beneath me." It was the first time that Seija had dared to speak so selfishly about the revolution to Shinmyoumaru, and she could feel the shock of betrayal coming from her. _Feels good, doesn't it, princess?_ She knew she should have been trying to get Shinmyoumaru back under her thumb again, but for the moment, she couldn't bring herself to care. "Did you think I'd stop after you sold me out to them?"

"I-I didn't sell you out! I was trying to keep you alive!"

"Does this look like much of a life to you? I'd be better off _dead_." Seija could feel the negative emotions rolling off of Shinmyoumaru now, and it only drove her on, urging her into a frenzy. She leaned forward, tugging against her restraints until they left her wrists red. Her entire body jerked with each shout that tore itself from its throat, and her eyes turned toward Shinmyoumaru wildly. The inchling took a fearful step backward. "You left me to be _humiliated_. Did you think you were doing me a favor?!"

Shinmyoumaru was frozen, staring incredulously, with tears brimming in her eyes. "S-Seija, I just want to help!"

"I don't need your help." Drawing her head back, Seija spat toward Shinmyoumaru. At this distance, her aim was off, but the sight of the saliva splattering near her feet was satisfying anyway. "Get the fuck out of my sight."

Still unflinching and expressionless, Yukari took a step forward, subtly positioning herself between Seija and Shinmyoumaru. She allowed a moment or two of silence before she spoke. "You are remorseless, then."

"I won't stop. Not until people like you have lost everything and realize you're _just as bad as me_."

"Mmh." Yukari did not sound concerned. Raising her parasol, she used the tip to lift Seija's chin and studied her face. "Gensokyo's peace is a careful balance. When there's no place for a thing in the outside world, it ends up here. When a thing can't peacefully exist in Gensokyo, we banish it to the underworld. When we're not even sure if something is safe to keep in the underworld..."

Seija didn't even meet her eyes. Behind Yukari, she could hear the tiny squeaks of Shinmyoumaru crying. "Then what."

"Then our options are limited." Yukari lowered the parasol, freeing her chin, and Seija tugged her head away. Yukari turned to Shinmyoumaru. "Do you have anything else that you'd like to ask?"

"N-no," Shinmyoumaru sniffled. "I've heard enough."

Yukari nodded. As the three made their way out of the room, Seija followed Shinmyoumaru with her eyes. She didn't look away until the door closed behind them.

* * *

><p>Late in that night, judging by the light shining through the wall, she'd heard a shouted argument from another room. Otherwise, time crept by featurelessly. The kitsune brought food and drink every now and then, and Seija refused all of it. She wasn't like Yukari. Seija could see the disdain on her face, and taunted her every time she came in. The trickle of hate in her soul was thin, but it was enough to keep Seija going.<p>

The only thing she had to pass the time was struggling against her restraints. The rope was tight and sturdy, but she had just enough wiggle room to rub it against itself. In the process, it ground against her wrists until they were raw, but she didn't care. The pain was an anchor. It kept her from drifting into a mindless haze. She'd already lost all her allies, then her resources, then burnt out her health assaulting the barrier. If breaking her body was what it took to pull off one last act of defiance, that was what she'd do.

On the morning of the third day, she realized that something was different. The conversations drifting through the door were quieter, but the shrine was noisy with activity. It was, by her estimation, almost noon when the shrine maiden entered the room and eyed her. When she seemed satisfied that Seija had no immediate abuse to hurl at her, she walked around her back and, to Seija's surprise, began cutting the ropes around her ankles. "Don't try to run. I've got youkai extermination ofuda on me. Do you understand? Extermination, not the weak ones I use in duels."

Seija stayed stubbornly silent. Reimu's knife broke through the first coil of rope, and she instantly felt it loosen. It relieved a pain that she hadn't even been conscious of for days. "They're going to execute you," Reimu continued. Her voice was controlled and emotionless.

Seija stared forward, refusing to acknowledge the statement even as a sick feeling rose in her stomach. Reimu kept going. "It's the first time since I became the shrine maiden. Normally the only youkai who get exterminated for good are beasts who can't learn not to eat villagers. I've never seen Yukari so angry." With one final tug, the rope fell slack. "Stand up."

There wasn't time to think about it. Seija drove her head backward, smashing it into Reimu's forehead. Sharp-edged pain spiked through her skull, but she had horns; she was built for this kind of thing. After a single shake of her feet to kick the rope clear of them, she took off sprinting. She was to the front of the shrine, and managed to push the sliding door open with a kick before she heard Reimu scramble to her feet and shout, "Get back here!"

After days spent locked inside, the sun was blindingly bright, but Seija didn't let it slow her down. She didn't need to go anywhere in particular, just _away_. Leaping into the air sent her stiff legs aching, but she didn't need them anyway. She took off flying at a shallow angle, just high enough to launch herself over the trees. There was no plan, no destination in mind. She just had to get away, and fast. Once she was out of sight, she could find something to cut the ropes off her arms, then—

A single ofuda slammed into Seija's back. Reimu hadn't been kidding about the power. It was like having a brick dropped on her spine, a single hammer blow of divine energy that felt like it might make her entire body burst. Burning pain spread out from the site of the impact, and the force instantly drained from Seija's muscles. She couldn't even control her descent. Within a second, she'd peaked, then plummeted downward through the air on a ballistic arc. She thankfully fell through the space between trees, then landed in the loamy forest soil and tumbled through the underbrush until she came to a rest.

Every muscle in her body ached, and she could still feel the searing pain in her back where the ofuda clung to her. Weakly, she pushed her bound wrists down, clawing for it, but the paper burnt her fingers where they touched it. Recoiling, she dropped to the forest floor again, then tried pushing herself up to standing with no avail.

The pain was distracting enough that she didn't even hear Reimu's approach until the shrine maiden reached down and ripped the ofuda from her back. Instantly, the scorching pain and weakness faded, leaving only residual aches coursing through her body. Reimu reached down and grabbed the shimenawa around her wrists, using it as a handle to heft her to her feet. "You should have listened," she said. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>The walk left Seija with plenty of time to dwell on the situation, and she found herself facing it with a grim resignation. It wasn't like she'd be the first amanojaku to die like this. Until the spell card rules had been instituted, it had practically been common. The ones who didn't enrage humans into hunting them down were beaten by other youkai on general principle. This had always been inevitable if she failed to become the most powerful. For an amanojaku, there were no other valid outcomes.<p>

In retrospect, she knew that she should have chosen her words carefully with Shinmyoumaru. Whatever lie it had taken, it would have been worth it to get out of there under her own terms. But even now, looking back, she couldn't regret her outburst. With her spite overpowering her self-control, she'd never felt more free than she had at that moment. It was wonderful. As she walked, she tried to think of some biting insult she could make at the last minute, something that Shinmyoumaru would never forget. _Hurt her like she hurt you. Give her something to remember you by. Make her have nightmares about this day for the rest of her life, and spend the whole time wondering if __**she could have prevented it.**_ It wasn't much of a consolation, but it was something. By the end of the walk, her head was held high.

The path winded through the forest, and the destination soon came into sight. It was an otherwise featureless clearing, right on the edge of the barrier. The crowd of humans and youkai was small, and it was perhaps the most somber gathering that Seija had ever seen in Gensokyo. She recognized every face from the crowd, and every single one of them had already tried to fight her while the spell card rules had been lifted. That, at least, gave her some grim satisfaction. In the end, it had taken half of Gensokyo to wear her down enough for her to be captured.

The crowd grew silent when Reimu pushed her into the clearing, and every eye turned her way. Seija glowered at them. "Expecting a show?" Jerking away from Reimu's grasp, she stepped into the center of the crowd under her own control. Dignity... dignity was something she could live without. If she thought for a moment that it would help, she'd fall to her knees and plead, beg to the very end. She didn't think it would change anything, though. The air had that sense of finality. They'd made up their minds, and she wasn't leaving this place alive. The only small solace left to her was that she wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her squirm.

The spectators were arranged into two rows, and at the far end of the clearing, there was a tree stump. The exposed surface had been scored with deep cuts over the years, and there were heavy stains across the top. It didn't take a genius to see where this was going. Walking forward as slowly as she could, her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Shinmyoumaru, ready to deliver a parting remark at a moment's notice.

But there was nothing. She wasn't there. Shinmyoumaru hadn't even deigned to come to her execution. _She never could handle bloodshed. Coward._ The insult didn't give Seija much satisfaction, though, and she was filled with a nameless disappointment as she covered the last few meters to the bloodstained stump.

Standing behind it was the gap youkai, her hands both resting on the handle of her parasol. "It would seem that the guest of honor is here."

Seija only grunted in response, and waited a moment to see if Yukari had anything else to say. When she didn't, she lifted her bound wrists behind herself. "Can I at least die with my hands untied? Your pet shrine maiden already proved that she can stop me from running."

"I'm afraid we don't do last requests here," Yukari said, her voice flat. "Step forward."

Seija hesitated. The gap youkai, witch, and shrine maiden had all taken her in a fight nights ago, when she'd been healthier, had some of her cheating tools, and had her hands free. She had no hope of escaping like this.

But now that her legs weren't bound, she could feel a trickle of power. It wasn't much. Certainly not enough to win a fight against another youkai, let alone a crowd of them.

Just maybe, though. Just maybe, she could go down fighting.

Behind her, Reimu pushed Seija forward, sensing her hesitation, and Seija took that as her starting pistol. Straining against the spiritual restraints of the shimenawa, she forced out some of her power. Reimu yelped as she suddenly spun in the air and toppled over, and for the moment, Seija was free.

Shouts ran through the crowd, and Seija didn't waste any time. There was no room for strategy or defense here. Only brutality, the chance to cause as much damage as she could before they get her. Within seconds, the spectators were rushing forward, and Seija whirled around, transferring the momentum into a solid kick to Reimu's ribs. Somebody grabbed her shoulder from behind, and she lashed backward with her foot, connecting heavily with something soft.

They were surrounding her now, arms grabbing her from every side and dragging her down, but Seija thrashed like an animal, lashing and kicking at everything she could. Jerking her head to her side, she managed to sink her sharp teeth into a shoulder. "You think you're better than me?!" she shouted, with somebody's blood running down her chin. "You're not!" She felt her elbow land a satisfying blow against somebody's face behind her. "All of you, you're all...!"

With whiplike speed, the razor-sharp point of the Shining Needle Sword pressed right to Seija's throat, and she instantly went still. Even over the shouts of her captors, she managed to hear the trembling in Shinmyoumaru's voice as she said, "S-stop it."

Seija couldn't will herself to move. Only once she'd been unmoving for several seconds did Shinmyoumaru withdraw her sword. As the youkai around her pushed her back to standing, desperate thoughts burnt through Seija's mind. Shinmyoumaru was big again. That meant that the Miracle Mallet had recharged its power. If there was one thing that could get her out of this, that was it. She just had to think of something, one last thing to convince Shinmyoumaru to help her for even a second, and they could run away. Once they were far enough away, she could find somewhere to hide and wait this out. Maybe look for a path to the outside or hide in the underworld. She'd bide her time, and in a few months they would have forgotten all about—

Shinmyoumaru walked around and stood behind the bloodstained stump, and the youkai gave Seija a shove forward. She stumbled for a few steps before her body remembered itself and she drew to a stop. Barely two meters away, Shinmyoumaru drew herself up to her full height and rested one hand on her needle sword. "The condemned w-will now kneel." Her voice cracked, and she took a breath to steady herself.

Sensing Seija's hesitation, Shinmyoumaru drew her sword, and only then did Seija realize why she hadn't been in the audience. _She's the __**executioner**__._ "H-hey, look," she murmured. "I know I said all that stuff the other day, but I was..." Her mind raced as she tried to think up a suitable lie. "I only attacked the barrier because I didn't have the power for anything else. With the Mallet, we could—"

Shinmyoumaru looked up, and her eyes locked with Seija's. There was none of the naive uncertainty that Seija was used to seeing in the girl's eyes. Only a hard glare, which seemed to pierce right through Seija as she said, "They told me, you know. About the true history of the inchlings."

"Shin, you don't need to...!"

"You aren't using anybody again." The statement seemed to give Shinmyoumaru some grim satisfaction. Raising her voice, she repeated, "The condemned will now kneel."

There was no mistaking the cold disdain in her tone. Seija could _feel_ it. Masked with pain and regret and outrage, she hadn't noticed at first, but it was there: in Shinmyoumaru's heart, a twisted, jagged knot of budding hate. Seija hadn't felt such pure revulsion in years. Instantly, she knew: There was no way that she was talking her way out of this one, no way that Shinmyoumaru would ever listen to a word she said again.

"H-ha... h-haha...!" The laugh started low in Seija's stomach, a spasming, unstable thing, but soon gained momentum. Her lips pulled back into a wide grin, and soon her entire body was shuddering, cackling toward the sky in frenzied hysteria. "Pfahahahah!" Her body heaved, and her sides ached. Her legs went weak, and she fell to her knees. A confused murmur ran through the crowd. Somebody stepped forward to shove Seija over the stump. She didn't care. She _couldn't_ care. For the first time, she had inspired pure, lasting, life-warping hatred in somebody. It was the most precious of all emotions for an amanojaku, like warm sunshine through her soul. It was more biting than any insult she could toss Shinmyoumaru's way, the sweetest revenge she could ever get. She couldn't fight anymore. In her own way, she'd already won.

Seija was still laughing, tears in her eyes, when the sword came down.


End file.
